Have you recently been inundated by advertisement after advertisement featuring Star Wars Episode III – The Revenge of the Sith?
Or have you been on a trip to Outer Mongolia? Who ever heard of Yoda wanting a Diet Pepsi? Who ever heard of Star Wars M&M’s?
You do not want Stars Wars Dark Chocolate M&M’s.
[I give a subtle Jedi wave to affect your mind]
You will set the Dark Chocolate M&M’s down.
[I give another Jedi wave]
You will leave them for me —
BWAAA-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAHHHH!
George Lucas has outdone himself on merchandising with this film. George is the person who made the movie merchandising market. Before the original Star Wars movie, we did not have the opportunity to buy toys and other trinkets fashioned after our favorite movies and characters. When George Lucas was negotiating the rights to Star Wars, he was either extremely perceptive or extremely lucky, but he ended up with the rights to all merchandising related to the film. He went on to market his way to millions.
Yes, I’m going to Star Wars Episode III — but I’ll probably wait until the crowds die down a little. Or, maybe I won’t. Last night, I could feel the midichlorians being affected from Skywalker Ranch in California — George forced me to watch Episode I “The Phantom Menace” again to get ready for the final episode.
If George does a few more Jedi mind-control tricks before then, I may even have to make Opening Day.